Does one of your good friends have cancer?

If one of your friends has cancer, you may wonder what is the best way to support him. Even if you want to help, it can be hard to know what to say or do. I talked to Bianca Elena Petcu, a psychologist about the limits of your involvement in your friend's life, how you support him and what you can do to get over that period. Here's what the psychologist recommends in such a situation. It is important to remember that there are no established rules and that each friendship is different. Make sure you think very well about your unique dynamics and allow yourself to act according to your senses.

Do not complicate yourself. Remember that often the smallest things mean the most. Many studies have found that cancer survivors with strong emotional support tend to adapt better to the changes that cancer brings into their lives, have a more positive view, and often report a better quality of life. Research has shown that people with cancer require support from friends. You can make a big difference in the life of a person diagnosed with cancer as long as they provide adequate support.

Take your time! . Finding the news about the cancer diagnosis of a friend or family member can be extremely difficult to hear. Take your time to deal with your own emotions about diagnosis before trying to do something for your dear person. In this way, you will be able to focus your attention properly on the person concerned. Find diagnostic information.

Your friend may not want to talk about details for a number of reasons. It can be physically and emotionally tiring to repeat the same information to others. If possible, learn the basics. Write them and repeat them to make sure you get the right information. In addition, if there is unknown or blank information, do not ask for more from the patients, at least not at the beginning (as soon as they have been diagnosed).

Think of it from your friend's perspective. Remember a moment when you were scared or you felt bad. Think about what you feel. What are you talking about? . Never comment on the physical changes that occur during the treatment and do not behave in any way differently from how you would like to be treated! .

Before visiting, giving advice and asking questions, ask if the intent is welcome. • Make plans. Do not be afraid to make plans for the future. This gives your friend an impatience to meet those plans and a sense of comfort and safety. • Be flexible.

Make plans flexible, easy to change if problems arise or your friend has to cancel or reprogram. • Laugh together. Be fun and fun when needed and if necessary. A nice conversation or a funny story can make the day of your loved one more beautiful. • Allow them sadness.

Do not ignore uncomfortable subjects or feelings. • Give your help. Many people find it difficult to ask for help. However, your friend will most likely appreciate the offer. You can provide support for certain tasks such as child care, pet care or meal preparation.

However, if your friend refuses an offer, do not take it personally. • Treat it the same way. Try not to let your friend's illness hinder friendship. As far as possible, treat it the same way as before. • Discuss topics other than cancer.

Asks about interests, hobbies and other topics that are not related to cancer. People going through treatment sometimes need a break from talking about the disease. For most cancer patients, the most difficult side effect to deal with is fatigue. Patients say that fatigue can be overwhelming and surprised how tired they feel long after treatment. It may take a long time to heal after surgery and feel tired even a few months later, after surgery.

Chemotherapy may involve many weeks of powerful drugs that aggravate fatigue as the body heals. People receiving radiation therapy also report extreme fatigue. A cancer patient can experience strong feelings of stress and anxiety, which adds to general exhaustion. It is important to consider all these factors when you are confronted with a person suffering from cancer. Another problem commonly encountered in people who want to provide support is the fear of not saying the wrong things or the fear of being told inadequately.

It is important to understand that first of all, the person who is diagnosed with cancer is a traumatized person. A trauma does not involve the close of anything but understanding and support. What does this thing mean? . .